Cha Cha Cha Changes

So this is new and different for me.
Ryan and I did our taxes and we are getting a rather large chunk of change back. I guess we finally made so little money that the government took pity on us and gave it all back.

Now you know me. I like expensive things. I love to buy stuff.
Ryan loves to travel. And of course, why would I not love it too?
And so with our grand chunk of change you know what we are doing?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I feel no desire to buy clothes or shoes ( I have no occasion to wear them.) He can't part with the money to take a trip.
For the first time in my life, I might actually have money in my savings account.
Not just for a minute either. Like an actual savings account.

Ryan says its a mark that were maturing.
I think were just growing old.

The need to bust my butt... or lack there of.

I am not a gym person. I despise gyms.
I dont like people who run for 35 minutes on a treadmill and glisten beautifully all the while.
I dont like that everyone can see you while you work out.
I dont like that im paranoid that everyone else is watching and judging my work out.
I dont like working out.
Most of all, I hate motivating myself to go.

But I find myself inexplicably drawn to the gym.

I like the idea of having a gym.
I like the idea of working out before facing the day.
I like the idea that no body really talks to you at the gym.
I like the idea that going to the gym and working out can offset the thing I really like...
I like to eat.

This is my musing. I am not going to delve into the deep psychosocial factors that draw women to be thin, or men to be muscled.

I just want to eat more and feel less guilty.
And to be just the tiniest bit more bendy. *wink*

$30 Bills....

Today, I was at work (not my store, a store closer to a bad neighborhood) and this lady comes in to get some prescriptions. Now her prescriptions were five dollars mind you. And she had a Snuggie and a bottle of Jim Beam. And couldnt find $5 to pay for her prescriptions much less all of the above. And she's hunting in purse and pocket to find some money then she says and I quote "I have a twenty dollar bill and a thirty dollar bill and now I cant find either."

Now when I was younger, I didnt know they didnt make five-hundred dollar bills. I mean, why would I have, I had never seen $5o0 in my life, much less all in one bill.

But this is different. This woman was grown. And under the influence. Of what I am not exactly sure.

So I have to wonder... What makes people do this? I mean, I have been drunk. And I understand the social drinking. I understand having a couple to unwind at the end of a day. But I have never wanted to be out of control of my senses. On purpose. But this woman lost a thirty dollar bill. In the middle of the day. I just dont know...

Go Directly to Jail

So today we went to the County Corrections facility with our OTA program. The idea is that "Leisure" is an area of life that this particular population could use improvement in. Positive leisure if I may.
So we went. And we made hemp bracelets.
And it was strange. The participants were eager, polite and pleasant.
I have to go back in the spring. And I need a an idea. A crafty thing that we can do. That involves no sharp objects.
And Im actually looking forward to it.

A Look in the Glass...

Reflection.
Its supposed to be a good thing right?
Not your reflection in the glass, although, most days, I dont think thats half bad.
Im talking about reflection on your life.
I was just reading on a friends blog about an aspiration she has and what has or hasn't come of that desire.
So I look back too. The semester is coming to a close and my life is changing yet again.

This is what I have to say so far about this semester:

Positives:
I have learned so much about Occupational Therapy, I am really excited about where its going to take me.

I have worked full time and gone to school full time and have nothing lower than a B.

I was voted class president for our Student OT group. - Based purely on my ability to speak well in public I am sure.

I continued to serve Meals on Wheels regularly despite a very full schedule.

I volunteered for a research project at school and applied for a grant with my teammates to continue its research. Its about improving the lives of people in nursing homes. Thats worthwhile right?


Negatives:
So many other areas in my life have suffered due to my schedule:

I have only read two books outside of school this entire semester. (I am not counting re-reading HP)

Martha Stewart I am not. My house is gross. Ryan has had to do his own laundry several times because he had no socks.

I still have yet to start exercising. Free gym membership at school. I have never been once.

I still don't have an friends in this bleeding state. I mean, there are a couple I know, and I couple I hang out with, but nothing close to companionship.
(this probably has less to do with my schedule than my general personality)


So what does this mean? Whats the total of my life for the last 6 months? What have I accomplished? What difference have I made?

And when on Earth will I find the time to do anything about it?

Its funny the word home. What does it mean? Dictionary.com says its a persons dwelling, house apartment etc.
But it also says a persons native place.
My favorite by far is the one that says a destination or goal.
Heather Lee said something to me today about being at home. I was confused because I thought I was. But then she meant Eville. I mean, that is where I live, but is that my home. I understand what the Bible says about longing for home.
Driving these streets is soothing to my soul. This is where my life is. So where is my home.
Home is where you hang your hat. Home is where my love lives.
But home is not where I am. Apparently. Ever.

The life and times....

Does anyone else feel like they are old? I have noticed more and more my body is letting me down. I mean 30 is not so old on the grand scheme of things. But I cant imagine if things are changing this drastically at this age what they will be like when I am 60.
I mean my eyes are going. I shouldnt be surprised at this. Both my mother and my father wear glasses. But I am really annoyed that I cant read street signs anymore. Or even the board in the front of the class from time to time.
Also, I am tired. All the time. I dont remember ever really being tired until now. I mean sure, if I stayed up until 4, sure. But not because I stayed up to 11!