Sunday Night
A pharmacy

A telephone rings...

Technician: Hello and thank you for calling CVS how can I help you?

Caller: Yes, my Medicaid hasn't been working or whatever but now there going to turn it on and give me the money back that I paid you, cause there was a couple times I had to pay for my medicine. Can you tell me how much that was?

Technician: You're asking what your recent out of pocket expenses were because you Medicaid was in-active?

Caller: Yeah, cause they said you'd give me my money back or they would or something.

Technician: It looks like it was around $29.00.

Caller: Really? Thats all?

Technician: Well ma'am if you got prescriptions at other stores, you would need to resubmit the insurance claim at each store.

Caller: Oh. Well can you get that ready for me?

Technician: Did they reactivate your old Medicaid ID account or did they assign you a new one?

Caller: I dont know.

Technician: Well then we would not be able to resubmit the claims with out the paperwork. Once you bring us the paper work we would be happy to resubmit them here in the store. If they will go electronically then we will refund your money immediately. Most of them are a month or more old and we do not guarantee electronic refunds over two weeks so we might end up mailing them. That could take a month or so. Do you have your receipts?

Caller: No, they didn't tell me I needed them.

Technician close to losing her patience: And how do you expect that you might get a refund from a store from several months ago without a receipt?

Caller: I dont know.

Technician knowing shes if fighting a losing battle because we can procure the receipts and the customer is infact not responsible for keeping her own crap together, we will just hand her money like everyone else is doing...: Why dont you just bring in your paperwork and we'll see what we can do.

Why do we live in a world now where people (my generation) dont seem to know how things work? I really want to go on a tirade about personal responsibility yada yada but even now my day is slipping away and I have to go. But I am thinking about these things...

The trash can in my kitchen is flowing over onto the floor because I am the only one who seems to be capable of taking it out. The ratio right now of me empting it versus anyone else in this house is 62:4. And I dont even live here.

The woman across the street called the cops on us because my huband parked in front of her house. She called the cops an hour and a half after leaving the first note she ever left on his windshield. And the cops threatened us with a misdemeanor for lack of cooperation if we continued to park there.

Mawigde is what bwings us togever today...

I am going to do something random and post on my blog. My bestest friend Tara got married recently. (I sometimes feel funny calling her my best friend, because in actuality I have 4 best friends, or three and a husband. But I also have two mothers and I refer to them both as my mom. Context clues help) I was in the wedding and it was fun and wonderful and we had a great time and she was beautiful...See:


But the wedding is the easy part. Some more so than others. The biggest struggle of mine was taking Ryan shopping for a new shirt. (Ever HAD to buy something for an event when you are feeling fat or tired or just not cute and ended up stomping your foot. This is what it is like taking my husband shopping for clothes.) But comparatively, i had it easy.

But then, then comes the real world. The meshing of the lives, the ticks, the moods, the motives, the budgets, the expectations, the kids (his, mine, ours), the discipline (his, mine, theirs) the television, the social life (or imbalance therein) and no matter how much you hash it out ahead of time, its not what you expected. It doesnt go according to plan.

So I have been thinking a lot about marriage. What a blessing it is to have one that works. Someone who is sticking by you, putting up with you. If you look at the statistics they are pretty grim. When I look at my friends from highschool we are sitting high right now, only one casualty so far, that I am aware of, but several yet to be married and a few pretty unhappy situations.

I really dont have an opinion or an epiphany here, more just a musing on paper. A girl at my work yesterday spouted off about the John and Kate debauchle saying that "Kate shouldnt stay with him if shes not happy because everyone deserves to be happy" I could have slapped her. And then choked her to death. And then I had to mourn a little bit for the self importance of our generation. I deserve to be happy? Do I? For what reason? Not to mention the entire concept of happiness just crap. But that is another episode.

Trapped

So today is my day off. When I have to work the weekend, I get a day off during the week to make up for it (gotta love retail). Usually I do laundry, catch up on the shows that Ryan wont watch with me, watch a chick flick On-Demand (its free) go to Walmart for the weekly shopping or go into town and hit the mall.
Well, shopping is not really an option for today, we had to pay the utility bill again $336.77! And this right after my birthday, we are pretty poor. (Though I am way over due for a haircut and completely out of shampoo.) Sarah is home doing her Photoshop-ing on the living room TV. I mean I guess having the picture the size of the wall makes for great results. And Ryan came home sick at 11 am and is asleep in our room.
I have no bed to fold laundry, no tv to watch and no where to read a book. I would go the movies but they only have one showing all day! (7:15)
Pooh.
(Just so you know, I am not wasting all day, I am making the sick boy some home made chicken soup, but still.)

The B-Day, V-Day Weekend

Can I confess something? I am a terrible spoiled brat. Hands down, high horse, expect the moon and know I deserve it spoiled. The week before my birthday I was angry about something, I dont even remember what, but I was crying and fuming and had all but decided that if Ryan so much as had the nerve to ask me what I wanted for my birthday rather than just planning something fantastic, I was going to run away. Seriously, I was leaving. I hadn't gone so far as to say to myself that I was going back to Va Beach, but I was definitely not coming home for a few days. "That'll teach him to under appreciate...". Where do I get this stuff?
A tizzy. Thats the only way I can explain it. I was in a tizzy.
And two days later I come home and he says to me, "We need to talk about your birthday." By this time of course the storm had passed. (I'm so bad with holding grudges) (sometimes) And I find out he had raced home from work, drove all the way to town (which is an hour) so that he could get to the cell phone store and by me an IPhone for my birthday only to decide not to because of the $75 dollar a month increase to our cellphone bill. So rather than be spontaneous, he thought he should ask me before committing us to that much debt.
Such a simple thing. That he made a two hour trip and came home empty handed. That rather than blow our money like we always do (we are so bad with money, both of us like to pretend we have it) he asked before he lept.
I love him.
So I asked for a favor instead. To spend my birthday with my family since we are within driving distance.
So we booked a hotel and took the long scenic route and made a 3 hour trip a 6 hour trip. (He decided to replace my broken stereo with one that hooked into my IPOD half way there-LOVE IT!) and we had the best time. We love being together.
It was a fantastic weekend! Ryan played with the baby a lot which I enjoyed watching. We had a fantastic hotel room (which someone sent us Champagne and Chocolate Cheesecake !! Thanks and Happy Birthday to me!) and on Saturday we went for a horsedrawn carriage ride around downtown Cincinnati.
So for all my fussing and fuming and princessiness, I got better than I deserve.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs*

Dont you just love it when someone agrees with you? I bought this book at B&N yesterday and so far I am in love. Its a series of rants, a manifesto in essay if you will about pop culture. And the first sentiment from the page is how he will never be able to make any woman happy and this all the fault of John Cusack.

Well not John Cusack so much as Lloyd Dobbler and dont act like you are not secretly in love with "Say Anything". I hate John Cusack, and I still have the little melty thing every time that stupid song is heard. But hes right.

I have been reading Twilight and thinking how unsatisfying any real relationship must be in compairison to the one every young woman is in with Edward Cullen. I mean, he's immortal, so he has that whole Groundhog Day self improvment thing with the piano composition and the knowledge of all things musical and literary not to mention physical speed and agility. When you add an obsessive, comsumptive, possessive, passionate, I've never wanted anyone like you in the last 300 years... Hell, I am a grown woman who doesnt give myself to romantic daydreams of the perfect person often and i find it hard not to have my expectations shifted even slightly. And there are people who read this romance crap on a regular!?

What must it be like to dream of the perfect man for years? Or have a man and sneak off to a pretend one all the time? Real guys dont have a chance. Even with Woody Allen on their side.

Subculture

I like movies. I think ive even blogged about this before. In fact Im sure of it. But it occurs to me yet again that I judge other people based on this one certain subculture.
Episode: I have a new friend on Myspace. Hes not a new friend exactly, but we are newly friends on Myspace. And when reading the things he likes column, I browse the music section, laughing out loud that the first on the list is Tool. Nothing against it, I enjoy Tool, the are one of the few metal bands on my Ipod, I just didnt know they were on the top of anyones list anymore.
I digress.
Anyway, I get to the movie section and see that he has The Boondock Saints listed. Now this is not a character trait. This does not make him a good person, it does not make him smarter, more reliable, more honest etc. But for some reason, my estimation of this person increases. We can have music in common, books, TV shows, whatever, but love the same stupid pop cult flick as I do and you are instantly more likely to stick to my social circle.
I find this subculture loyalty highly amusing.

Making Friends

You know, I actually dont know that I like making friends. Not that that is a bizzare statement, but if youve known me for any length of time, you wont believe a word of it.
Its true. I love people. Which is contrary to most things I say in my blog. I like meeting new people. I like talking to new people. I like hearing their stories and learning about their lives and lessons theyve learned. I can do new people.
Its when new people arent so shiny anymore. Or more truthfully, when I am probably not so shiny any more. That I have always had the hardest time.
Heather Lee says its the fear of non reciprocation. Which is funny because how do you reciprocate with a leech? Perhaps thats a bit harsh, but i dont have many walls. The ones I do are high and close to my heart. People can come, are invited/dragged into my life with no thought to their needs or lines or social standards (mostly from my own lack of their concept) and before I know it, apparently Ive crossed a line into to psycho girl.
So I developed this bit. Im the transition friend. New to the church? Ill be your friend until you make your own. New to town? Ill take you out and show you all the places youll want to go with your friends when you make some. New to work? You can sit at my lunch table until you find your own place.
With this philosopy, the leaving is inevitable. The reciprocation is unexpected. Because its true, most people dissappoint. But then you can snatch everyone to your chest and hold them there.
I think I am like that little girl in the cartoons that just wants that kitty so bad, "to love, it and pet it, and hold it, and kiss it' that she drags it everywhere by they neck and all it wants is to get away from her.
Why am I posting this? Well I have been thinking about friends lately, probably because I have none near by. Mary (the girl whose party I went to a couple post ago) is good fun, but probably wont stick. She has her own life and its pretty busy.
I caught up with a couple friends at the reunion and thought perhaps we would start talking again, we used to be so close. At least I thought. Perhaps that was in my head as well.
And then there are a couple on the fringe, that you think, well all signs are positive, but dare I actually make a move. And then, how much is too much? And how to do it without letting any of the crazy slip out? Because they will proabably like me as long as I am normal, but lets just keep that crazy tucked away just in case.