I am going home. But I am home. This is a complex thought to me. I am sitting at Scott and Heathers. My second house. I have spent this week with ten years worth of friends whom I have shared with and loved and grown with. Im in Virginia Beach. Last night, watching the water from Norfolk's Waterside, I was instantly immersed in my city, watching the world from the most familiar of vantage points.
This week has been surreal. Driving in my city but in a car thats not mine. Living in a home that is familiar, sleeping without my husband. Seeing so many friends who's lives I cant share.
And while its been fun, and encouraging, and refreshing (although, exhausting) all I can think today is how I want to go home. To the place that is not my home. To the house that is not my home, to the city that is not my home, to the place that holds no friends.
So while all week, my first response to "hows Indiana" has been a scowl and a complaint, I must admit, my heart lives there. And while I have him to "go home" to I have much to be thankful for.
"Contrariwise,if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Personality
Rachel Maddow apparently has gone on vacation. I know this means absolutely nothing to the rest of the world, but this puts a knot in my drawers. And its not even that she has gone on vacation, every body needs a vacation, but its the fact that she had someone sit in and do her show. AND SHES TERRIBLE. This is highly disappointing. I mean, its the news. But its the news with a great host, a personality which is why I watch the show, that and I have a girl crush on her. But its real news not like the Daily Show where they can just rerun. But you dont ever see Jon Stewart let Jon Oliver sit in for him do you? Not that that wouldnt be great. As long as it wasnt Rob Riggle. *Shiver*
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Problem With People...
Okay so I have said before that I dont like people. That is a generalization.
I like individuals, but I dont like people. Kinda like how I am racist but I have black friends...long story.
Anyways, my job is not helping this "I hate people" mentality I have.
So heres the thing:
I have a problem with government subsidized programs. Because people dont seem to get off them. <---Aside
And mainly I have a problem with people who come into my pharmacy and want to not get a prescription because they have to pay for it.
Conversation:
Me: I have NINE prescriptions for you Mrs. Jones and that will be $6.00.
Mrs. Jones: I dont pay for my prescriptions.
Me: Medicare doesnt cover this ONE.
Mrs. Jones: I dont want it then.
Me: Do you want to know what it is?
Mrs. Jones: Is it my Lortab?
Me: No
Mrs. Jones: Then I dont want it.
Never mind that it was a cough syrup for her kid. Or worse an antibotic plus steroid cause the kids bronchitis is worse.
SIX DOLLARS!!
My copay for my migraine pills is SIXTY!
Much less the fact that they are getting nine scripts for a measley six bucks.
OMG!
If I have never before wanted to physically hurt a stranger, I now know why people kill other people.
That I work, now at a menial, retail, practically minimum wage job, so that my tax dollars can pay for these people to sit on there obese or cracked out rears (because it seems to me that people who abuse the medicare system also abuse food and or drugs) so they can not even pay less than they do for fast food to not get medicine for their CHILDREN but have free XANAX...
And then they have the nerve to get huffy with me when they dont pay attention to how many refills they have or whether or not their prescription is expired or just the fact that they actually had to wait for the sweet old lady in front of them who has to pay $197.87 a month for her Crestor to finish writing her check.
Sometimes, I would not mind stabbing them with my pen, just to watch them bleed.
This I understand is far from anything like a Christian attitude. Maybe if I had XANAX I wouldnt be so hateful. LOL
I like individuals, but I dont like people. Kinda like how I am racist but I have black friends...long story.
Anyways, my job is not helping this "I hate people" mentality I have.
So heres the thing:
I have a problem with government subsidized programs. Because people dont seem to get off them. <---Aside
And mainly I have a problem with people who come into my pharmacy and want to not get a prescription because they have to pay for it.
Conversation:
Me: I have NINE prescriptions for you Mrs. Jones and that will be $6.00.
Mrs. Jones: I dont pay for my prescriptions.
Me: Medicare doesnt cover this ONE.
Mrs. Jones: I dont want it then.
Me: Do you want to know what it is?
Mrs. Jones: Is it my Lortab?
Me: No
Mrs. Jones: Then I dont want it.
Never mind that it was a cough syrup for her kid. Or worse an antibotic plus steroid cause the kids bronchitis is worse.
SIX DOLLARS!!
My copay for my migraine pills is SIXTY!
Much less the fact that they are getting nine scripts for a measley six bucks.
OMG!
If I have never before wanted to physically hurt a stranger, I now know why people kill other people.
That I work, now at a menial, retail, practically minimum wage job, so that my tax dollars can pay for these people to sit on there obese or cracked out rears (because it seems to me that people who abuse the medicare system also abuse food and or drugs) so they can not even pay less than they do for fast food to not get medicine for their CHILDREN but have free XANAX...
And then they have the nerve to get huffy with me when they dont pay attention to how many refills they have or whether or not their prescription is expired or just the fact that they actually had to wait for the sweet old lady in front of them who has to pay $197.87 a month for her Crestor to finish writing her check.
Sometimes, I would not mind stabbing them with my pen, just to watch them bleed.
This I understand is far from anything like a Christian attitude. Maybe if I had XANAX I wouldnt be so hateful. LOL
Saturday, November 1, 2008
No Wing and a Prayer
I have been invited to a party. Nothing terribly exciting. Its a Tastefully Simple party hosted by one of the Pharmacists. Shes about my age and when to college near Indianapolis. That qualifies as having lived in an actual city. And she has a horse. And shes single. And catholic but in a postmodern were all Gods children fashion. So thats quasi-Christian I suppose.
So far I like her. More than most people I have met around here.
Ryan has decided it would be good for me to go this party. "If I like her, maybe I will like her friends." <--- Translates, Maybe he wont have to be my only friend.
But that leaves me going to a party solo. I hate going to a party solo. You should always at least have a wing man. I am a firm believer in creating your own sub-party.
Laura and went to this murder-mystery dinner thing with our community theater and spent all night flirting outlandishly with this handsome 40 something gentleman, and had a fabulous evening with people who were all friends with each other and barely knew us. But it was one of the best parties I have ever been to because we created our own event.
So alas, I am going, telling myself I can be fabulous by myself. With my bottle of Yellow Tail. And a little hope in my heart.
So far I like her. More than most people I have met around here.
Ryan has decided it would be good for me to go this party. "If I like her, maybe I will like her friends." <--- Translates, Maybe he wont have to be my only friend.
But that leaves me going to a party solo. I hate going to a party solo. You should always at least have a wing man. I am a firm believer in creating your own sub-party.
Laura and went to this murder-mystery dinner thing with our community theater and spent all night flirting outlandishly with this handsome 40 something gentleman, and had a fabulous evening with people who were all friends with each other and barely knew us. But it was one of the best parties I have ever been to because we created our own event.
So alas, I am going, telling myself I can be fabulous by myself. With my bottle of Yellow Tail. And a little hope in my heart.
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