Monday, December 29, 2008

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs*

Dont you just love it when someone agrees with you? I bought this book at B&N yesterday and so far I am in love. Its a series of rants, a manifesto in essay if you will about pop culture. And the first sentiment from the page is how he will never be able to make any woman happy and this all the fault of John Cusack.

Well not John Cusack so much as Lloyd Dobbler and dont act like you are not secretly in love with "Say Anything". I hate John Cusack, and I still have the little melty thing every time that stupid song is heard. But hes right.

I have been reading Twilight and thinking how unsatisfying any real relationship must be in compairison to the one every young woman is in with Edward Cullen. I mean, he's immortal, so he has that whole Groundhog Day self improvment thing with the piano composition and the knowledge of all things musical and literary not to mention physical speed and agility. When you add an obsessive, comsumptive, possessive, passionate, I've never wanted anyone like you in the last 300 years... Hell, I am a grown woman who doesnt give myself to romantic daydreams of the perfect person often and i find it hard not to have my expectations shifted even slightly. And there are people who read this romance crap on a regular!?

What must it be like to dream of the perfect man for years? Or have a man and sneak off to a pretend one all the time? Real guys dont have a chance. Even with Woody Allen on their side.

Friday, December 19, 2008


I like movies. I think ive even blogged about this before. In fact Im sure of it. But it occurs to me yet again that I judge other people based on this one certain subculture.
Episode: I have a new friend on Myspace. Hes not a new friend exactly, but we are newly friends on Myspace. And when reading the things he likes column, I browse the music section, laughing out loud that the first on the list is Tool. Nothing against it, I enjoy Tool, the are one of the few metal bands on my Ipod, I just didnt know they were on the top of anyones list anymore.
I digress.
Anyway, I get to the movie section and see that he has The Boondock Saints listed. Now this is not a character trait. This does not make him a good person, it does not make him smarter, more reliable, more honest etc. But for some reason, my estimation of this person increases. We can have music in common, books, TV shows, whatever, but love the same stupid pop cult flick as I do and you are instantly more likely to stick to my social circle.
I find this subculture loyalty highly amusing.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Making Friends

You know, I actually dont know that I like making friends. Not that that is a bizzare statement, but if youve known me for any length of time, you wont believe a word of it.
Its true. I love people. Which is contrary to most things I say in my blog. I like meeting new people. I like talking to new people. I like hearing their stories and learning about their lives and lessons theyve learned. I can do new people.
Its when new people arent so shiny anymore. Or more truthfully, when I am probably not so shiny any more. That I have always had the hardest time.
Heather Lee says its the fear of non reciprocation. Which is funny because how do you reciprocate with a leech? Perhaps thats a bit harsh, but i dont have many walls. The ones I do are high and close to my heart. People can come, are invited/dragged into my life with no thought to their needs or lines or social standards (mostly from my own lack of their concept) and before I know it, apparently Ive crossed a line into to psycho girl.
So I developed this bit. Im the transition friend. New to the church? Ill be your friend until you make your own. New to town? Ill take you out and show you all the places youll want to go with your friends when you make some. New to work? You can sit at my lunch table until you find your own place.
With this philosopy, the leaving is inevitable. The reciprocation is unexpected. Because its true, most people dissappoint. But then you can snatch everyone to your chest and hold them there.
I think I am like that little girl in the cartoons that just wants that kitty so bad, "to love, it and pet it, and hold it, and kiss it' that she drags it everywhere by they neck and all it wants is to get away from her.
Why am I posting this? Well I have been thinking about friends lately, probably because I have none near by. Mary (the girl whose party I went to a couple post ago) is good fun, but probably wont stick. She has her own life and its pretty busy.
I caught up with a couple friends at the reunion and thought perhaps we would start talking again, we used to be so close. At least I thought. Perhaps that was in my head as well.
And then there are a couple on the fringe, that you think, well all signs are positive, but dare I actually make a move. And then, how much is too much? And how to do it without letting any of the crazy slip out? Because they will proabably like me as long as I am normal, but lets just keep that crazy tucked away just in case.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Blogging for the Guilt of it

I havent blogged in awhile. I feel that my life is mindless. Part of that is true. Part of it is sharing every space with Ryan or his mom and sister doesnt leave you much time to ponder the universe and comment as usual. In that vein, I miss sitting at my desk at Hotel and Club. All the time in the world to think and comment. Oh well.

Yesterday was a gem of a day. We had a floating pharmacist. (Ryan asked about the anchoring. Sometimes I wonder about him, he puns as bad as my stepdad.) Anyway. This new pharmacist (hes not quite 30) cage fights in his free time. Even now I fail to say this with a straight face. And all the other girls in the pharmacy just thought he was the bee knees. Kept asking him how you get to be a cage fighter and telling him how he looked like The Rock (I thought 'more like A rock'). And I just stood there and shook my head and as the fauned and doted. And he thought he was everyones friend. Ordered pizza for us all (bbq chicken barf... i ate my ham sandwich) with his per diem and actually said to someone on the phone (well I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night so they let me be a pharmacist today). I almost actually said, "Its Holiday Inn EXPRESS jackass, if your gonna make the bad joke atleast get the punchline right.'
I think what really made me mad was I walked in and they were all bad mouthing the regular pharmacist, who I will admit is a big jerk, but in an expects you to know how to do your job without having to be told kinda way. And the new kid was just soaking it all in and saying "well if I ruled the world" type things.
Who does this? I mean honestly? People. They aggravate me.

Oh, and we spent several hours last night watching cable news shows to hear someone make a lame duck joke and no one did. Ryan actually yelled at the TV. It was hysterical.
"Lame Duck President dodges a shoe and no one can say 'Well that was a lame duck!'"
Bless his heart.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Playing Tag

Katie Paulus tagged me. The object I suppose is randomness. In this particular game of tag, participants upload the fifth picture in the fifth file of their photos and post them to their blog.
So heres mine:
It was a day last summer when Noah was visiting. We were down at the beach and Ryan was playing in the water with him. I was off on a walk taking random photos and this particular files has several hundred. Ryan and I have a hobby where go out photo seeking. We take hundreds of random photos and then choose the best to be in our black and white gallery in our home. This one did not make the cut. But you never know when one will, so you dont cut out, you cut in, just in case. I thought if I could catch this kite, open full in a graceful moment it might be nice. I shot it in 18 frames with nothing use able. Its all a waiting game. But then, lots of great photos are.

I tag Heather Lee and Missy Wetherington.