Friday, September 19, 2008

Sad Sad Things...

I am sitting here at my computer spending quality time with my husband watching...

Aquateen Hunger Force.

If you've never seen then you've NO idea. The shame, the shame. And it gets worse. I know the back story now, of the bit characters. We have philosophical discussions of the ramifications of the actions of Frylock, Meatwad and Shake.

And the worse part. I like it. I have a closet addiction, or not so much any more, to Adult Swim. The Venture Brothers, The Oblongs, Lucy Daughter of the Devil. Some of them are just tolerable like Stroker and Hoop and Home Movies but most of the Line Up is on the Tivo.

Well not Robot Chicken. Robot Chicken is terrible. Can I get an AMEN?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thought of the day.

I like to clean. Now if youve been to my house or seen my car, you are probably screaming, "Liar!" not unlike Miracle Max's Wife. I wont say that i do it often, because the moons have to be properly aligned:

I have to have a block of time set aside
I have to have access to music
I have to be alone
I have to be headache free
I have to be able to over come the call to inertia of any book I may be reading at the time
and I have to be well fed so that I dont get distracted and start cooking something which will inevitably take me to the store, take prep time, cooking time and create a pile of dishes by which time Ryan will be home and I will no longer be alone and thus cannot clean.

But, the heavens cooperating, I am able to, I like organizing my belongings, taking stock of their condition, making lists of things that need to be purchased for future corralling of possessions, ie bookends, ashtrays for change and barrettes. I like the smell of dust spray and the moist look of well polished wood. I love fresh sheets. I like folding laundry, warm in my lap as it comes out of the dryer. And I love singing 99 Red Balloons at the top of my lungs while I do it.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Well I Never...

Would have thought...
I just read this this morning. It APPEARS that Ray Boltz came out of the closet. You know that man that wrote "Thank You For Giving To the Lord" and my personal favorite "Watch the Lamb" <--- I cry like a baby every single time. Well I read this theology blog and they were talking about it and I went online other places and it was even already on Wikipedia.
This happened YESTERDAY people. I havent even gotten to read the article myself, am supposing because there is such heavy traffic because I cant even get the paper to load. One of the commenters on the blog says the content is questionable. Well duh, its a gay and lesbian newspaper's website. They are not known for having subtle websites are they? <-- blanket generalization statement yes I know.
But this makes me sad, oh so sad. This man, who wrote these sweet loves songs to Jesus. Well I guess none of us are beyond sin, but still. I dont think it would have occured to me. That he got a divorce, sad yes that causes a media scandal but in this day in age not a huge one. But this, and that he is purporting that "God made Him this way", well I dont think anyone would read the essay I could write on the theological crap that is if I posted it here. My blood boils at Christian superstars spouting bad theology and making us all look like idiots.

Regardless, I'm shocked, oy I dont even want to think about my mother, she owns all his cd's, millions of people are going to be hurt and confused by this and not to mention the man himself. So if your called to pray for the nation, not that we all aren't but you know what I mean, your gonna wanna write this one down in the log book.

Sorry to be so quiet and then come out with this... its been a looong week at work and I just havent had the mental capacity.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ahoy There!

If you havent been reading recently and then decided to catch up youre in for quite the roller coaster.

Imagine if you will that you were shipwrecked and laying on a piece of something floaty (doesnt matter what youre dying here) and after about two days of drifting the middle of the ocean, seeing nothing but sun and sea and stillness you come to grips with the fact that you are about to bite it.

So you go through a lot of deep philosophical thinking and imagining and reasonings that arent reasonable. (Afterall you are sunburnt and heat stroked and dehydrated. Oh and going to die, any better excuse for drama?)

And then because of Providence, (though some would call it coincidence however the improbability factor is something like 1 in 7,852,945,856,854) a submarine surfaces not 20 yards from you, (it has to be a submarine because neither you nor they saw the approach of the other, the arrival was drastic and sudden like lightening) and you are rescued, rehydrated, aloed and set back to reason. With renewed purpose perhaps but with the memory of the near death appreciation for all those things you thought you had lost.

I listened to Gene Emersons message from this past Sunday this morning. Many of you wont have any idea what relevance that has to anything, but its safe to say, my drifting is somewhat subdued and I might hope finished.

"Why is it so dark Lord?" said me.
"Because you've got your hands over your eyes." said He.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Drowning My Sorrows

"Aw… you're having a quarter life crisis. That’s so cute." Heather Lee says to me the other day as I am on the phone crying to her about one of the myriad of things I have been depressed about off and on in my life recently.

You know how you make lists of things that you wanted to do with your life by the time you were XYZ?

Well, I do not:

1.) Play the piano or guitar

2.) Speak three plus languages

3.) Own a luxury sedan

4.) Travel to Europe regularly

5.) Have a body that looks good in lingerie

6.) Fence

7.) Own a weapon I feel confident using

I could go on.

So heres the thing… and I want responses here people.

A.) Am I the only one that is crawling out of my skin going why am I wasting away, then feeling totally insane for thinking that I need any of this stuff?

B.) How do you reconcile the fact that we are wives, mothers, servants, i.e. not given to our own pursuits? I mean, I love my husband. He is my best friend and he knows me and still loves me and were happy. That’s a rare thing. I get that. But I feel like the price I pay for having a happy home is … ME. And theres no guarantee, I know, just because I want those things does not mean I get to have them. My pursuits are my pursuits and I will give them up to God and His will again so even there, why is my head wrapped up in these things I think I want that wont make me happy anyway. Ugh…

C.) Am I wrong for thinking that I shouldn’t pursue any of those things in as much as Ryan doesn’t mind. I mean he doesn’t care. I can take guitar lessons. He certainly would support me. Except this nagging thing in my head that says all that time spent in a pursuit to satisfy my own vanity is not money or time well spent away from my home.

Whats a girl to do?