Litmus Testing

Ryan and his mom were talking about his T-Shirts a couple of nights ago. The four of us tend to gather on the back porch (the house has a large over hang that makes it somewhat sheltered) during twilight hours and talk hither and thither. They are all smokers (Ryan reverts here) and I enjoy sitting among them and listening, free to join in, there's no awkwardness, or just be still in the semi out of doors. (It is a pity Mz. Lee that they are not wine drinkers or life would be grand indeed). Im waxing narrative…

About the T-Shirts… Ryan has quite a collection of shirts with sundry sayings such as, "The urge to flee came suddenly," or "I gave my word to stop at third… XYZ Abstinence campaign 1987." and on and on. My personal favorite is, "Free sex and ice cream" which is I believe the title of a book by some author no one has ever heard of but him, or some such nonsense. So Denise asks him why the shirts and he says, "Well they are kinda like a litmus test. Mostly you are gonna get frowns and furrowed brows but every once in while, you get that dawning and the, "Dude, I totally read that book!" smile. Then you know who your friends are.

While, of course, my husband would hardly pursue a relationship with anyone, whether they got his T-Shirt or not is another episode.

But don’t we all do litmus testing? I do.

Used to be first thing out of our mouth between Laura and I when a new person came to our group was, "Yes but do they know the first rule of Fight Club?" LOL

Dog people like dog people, People who have kids are drawn to people who have kids. Cat people dont like dog people.

My most natural and first litmus testing was to be cruelly sarcastic to a new person I met to see if they got my sense of humor. Of course, getting my sense of humor and being willing to take an onslaught such as I would deal them are not the same thing and it was thus decided, not unfairly, that I was a great bitch, until people got to know me, which of course, most chose not to.

I thought of litmus testing this morning while making garlic oil for my scrambled eggs. Who among you does not keep Olive Oil in your kitchen? Or more truthfully, thinks that they could do without it? I used to be the traveling chef amongst a group or friends. I had to start carrying my pantry and utensils in my vehicle after one fateful event where I tried to "whip up" some dinner at a friend's house and ended up in tears trying to cut potatoes with a butter knife. It would never occur to me that there are people in the world who could live there whole existence without cooking oil and frying oil and olive oil, but im living in the home of one of them now. There was no church key here, no cheese slicer, no wine opener, no edgeless can opener, no pastry knife, no offset spatula, no wooden spoons. Who can live in a land like this? For me, the kitchen is a litmus test.

Another good example is my tattoo. Many of you may not even know I have one. I have decided to no longer tell anyone what it means. To really do it justice, it involves a long story, and then it is only truly appreciate if you are a great geek as I am at heart. And I say this is a litmus test because if you are a great geek then I should only have to say one sentence and dawning would rush like a great tide and I would have to tell the entire story. But let me say, I have yet met only one person who ever understood directly. And I was sad because it was a stranger in passing and I shall never meet them again. But from now on I am only going to tell those who ask that it is a litmus test and if they pass, then they shall know. No one then, of course, shall know. Or if they do, I shall be very afraid.

Don't fret, for posterity, dear reader, and for all dear Josh's and the Triad's glory, I shall tell it one last time. But not today, this post is long enough.